I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
