If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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