you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
