there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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