I got chris browned last night
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
