I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I can text with my tongue
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
