3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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