Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
