I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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