ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
