remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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