Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
