I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
