it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
