What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
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