There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
