the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
