Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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