His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
