well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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