i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Randomize
