I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Randomize
