two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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