I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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