i can't believe i had my finger in that
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
