Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
