she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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