You work out of a Hotel?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Randomize
