I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
