Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
my god I love twenty year old dicks
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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