Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
