what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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