I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
