dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
