Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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