first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
