You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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