i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
