They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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