is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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