You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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