how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
