Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
