I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
