Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
