Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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