I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize