Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
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