OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I believe in your delicious
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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