If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
