she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
this boner is exhausting
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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