That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
