and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
