MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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