Me too!
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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