We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
