just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
