he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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