I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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