You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Randomize