So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
the condom got lost in my hair
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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