she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
