Screwed.edu
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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