i wish my penis had a tongue
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
