My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
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