sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
